Reflections on 28 years.

This from a conversation with an old Hyde Park friend, “Something in me has shifted so far away from melancholy. I think my whole life until well into sobriety was one huge embrace of bitter sweet that when I shook it off it just didn’t appeal to me much any longer. I can relate to the song as a distant memory but not as somewhere where I want to sit. I’m not into morbid reflection.” We were discussing the song, “The Last Time I Saw Richard” by Joni Mitchell.

I’m not that sad girl any longer. This is something I have just been realizing lately. It feels so expansive and true. The trauma of being kidnapped and raped, sexual abuse at the hand of my mother’s boyfriend, years of drug addiction and alcohol abuse really feel like a lifetime ago.

28 years this month.”

Long term recovery feels so powerful this year. Maybe because of the pandemic? I have had to really rely on the work, the practice. How am I showing up? The answer is pretty damn grateful 99% of the time.

Still a work in progress. I haven’t arrived but I have traveled far.