Where have you gone?

I’m here. Right here. Soups on. Or rather lunch. At least I can cook. There is plenty of food. I’m grateful, believe me, I am. Throw together some leftover pilaf with some canned garbanzo beans with some onion and bell peppers. A can of tomato sauce, the seasoned kind. Add half a can of corn or whatever. It’s the best!! Maybe melt some cheese on top in the end?

I’ve been meaning to say a few things but, it all comes out sounding like complaining or whining. I think, what right do I have to complain in the face of the daily onslaught?

Still, shit happens. The car breaks down. There’s no work this month. My eyes need surgery. The cost of the copay makes it impossible. I’d be fine right here at home but someone was mugged and raped in the park. The park that I have walked to and in mostly by myself for over forty years!!! I am now afraid to go out there by myself. The Obama Center festivities are happening almost right across the street from my Y so, well, fahghetttaboutit!

I vacuumed up some cob webs and watered plants. I went out with the garbage and stayed out there to pull bind weed off the fence for an hour or so. That was pretty satisfying.

Get up and get moving. That’s the cure. Practice in the face of all obstacles. Can I wait? Can I sit still in my white hot discomfort? Or not still per se just not stewing in my quagmire. There are so many great little sayings that we say in those church basement rooms. “If you’re going through hell, keep going” is my favorite right now.