Day One

It’s almost a quarter to nine now. I took that picture around seven thirty. The light coming through to my bedroom was so rosy that it woke me up.

There are “thoughts” swirling around. Nothing really. The coffee turned out tasty. Puzzles are worked. I signed up for a zoom yoga class with a friend teaching. I’m trying for more of that. More community. Although, I feel like I’m plugged in, pretty much. There’s the Y. Except that got messy. Something happened that put me off of going. It was a disturbing betrayal of my trust from someone that I was, or thought I was, becoming friends with. I’ll go back soon. So, there’s the Y, and my zoom meeting on Fridays, I chat with my neighbor every day, another neighbor and I take a pretty regular walk on Sundays. I’m not completely isolated.

I do feel lonely though. Not all the time. It’s an odd thing. These holiday days were a bit challenging this year. There was just a bit of socializing. That felt nice. I could have done with a little more.

There’s a lack of conversation. That’s the crux of it. I’m noticing that the more time I spend alone the less tolerance I have for… something? This is what I have been thinking about. My intolerance.

That’s probably a subject for another day. For today, everything is unfolding in divine right order. I am forever grateful to be alive and sober. I’m grateful for a cup of strong coffee, for heat hissing and clanking up, for the sight of the sunrise, for a yoga class taught by a friend, for well wishes that arrive in texts, for cookies for breakfast.

🎆🙏🏻🎄🎉⛄️☮️💟