Whew!

It’s steamy. I’m getting over a bout of existential flu. I’m not precisely sure what brought it on, how I caught it? Could have been any number of things. Too much news of death and destruction? Maybe? Too much alone time? Maybe?

I went for a sort of interview with the owner of a yoga studio. That was one thing. Threw me off completely. I’m still turning the experience over and over. It was supposed to be just a casual conversation, fifteen minutes. Turned into a full hour of me defending my teaching. Ugh! I wasn’t prepared to talk talk talk. I would have much preferred teaching a mini class. A demo as it were.

I haven’t been sleeping well. That’s another thing. I have been experiencing a lot of pain in my legs in the night. Mostly in my knees. We have fooled around with changing medication and dosages. Don’t want to have a stroke or a heart attack. Can’t tolerate the meds. Conundrum.

So awake in the wee hours in excruciating pain I catch a bout of, “What’s the point?”.

Yesterday I felt myself again. It was only a moment, the moment has passed. Learning to weather the storm, learning that it’s just a storm, well that’s just it. Isn’t it? Practicing in a steady deliberate fashion moves me away from utter despair. What am I noticing? The clouds were gathering. The wind blew the whole business out over the lake.

I woke up and everything was the same. Except I was different. I felt well again. It was a steamy summer morning. The birds were busy. The coffee was strong. There were chores to attend to. Nothing is wrong. There is much to be grateful for.