While I was thinking about the evils of social media and why it makes me feel so anxious it dawned on me that what it does is push a need or expectation of some recognition. We all blurt out something we think will get a reaction. We begin to expect a response from the audience. We keep checking in to see if there is a response. For me this blurting and checking causes a nervous system activation. I’m in a constant state of anticipation.
Then, I notice that other people that I follow are getting lots of attention from their blurting. I can’t keep up with the competition. I don’t want to keep up. But I now have a false need or desire for a reaction from the audience.
Then there’s the “reels”! They have a numbing effect. I can loose hours scrolling.
My dilemma is that I am a person living a very solitary life. With very limited funds. So, checking in on social media gives an initial sense of community. I don’t want to feel anxious and unseen.
Whatever, these are just the random thoughts I’m having on a bright December morning. Maybe I can better articulate later? After an initial blurt of an idea, sometimes clarity arrives.
It’s sunny and very windy. I need to hurry and get ready for water aerobics with the other older folks at the Y where I am an actual part of the community.
☮️🦋🙏🏻
Spinster Life 