My friend is telling me about a movie she watched on the plane. The next day a clue in the crossword asks for the name of an actor in that film.
Today, this morning, I noticed that while I’m puzzling out the puzzles my mind is simultaneously focused on finding a word annnd thinking of snippets of ideas or stories. A list of chores and activities is also bubbling up.
It seems that the act of focusing the mind frees it to create? Maybe?
Long ago it occurred to me that practicing a routine gave way to improvisation. As in barre work or playing scales on the piano. There forms a basis for lift off into a new realm.
I used to worry that a sober life would be dull, lacking of color, excitement and adventure. I was sure that “those people“ were trying to brain wash me. Then someone said, perhaps my brain could use a bit of washing. What I know now is, they were gently guiding me to a life beyond anything I could imagine at the time. So narrow was my focus that it squeezed out any light.
Letting go was a hard concept to grasp. I notice this now in others. It’s like that Bob Dylan song where he says that he’s, “locked in tight” he’s out of range. Brilliant.
Follow the breath. That’s another foreign concept. Or it was when I first started practicing to learn to sit still. Man!! That was hard. Then comes noticing the breath and starting to manipulate it to calm the nervous system or warm the body. Some breathing techniques can help calm the person near or a room full of others. Self regulation and Co-regulation.
What a blessing to wake up early in this place with this park and this beach. I have been granted the gift of grace through learning to let go. It really takes A LOT of practice and gentle patience with oneself. Many things seemingly do go all wrong. There’s a lot of stormy weather. It’s a gift to get to ride it out.
What are you noticing? The chilly breeze. The sound of a woodpecker. A Cardinal. A plane high up. My left foot is asleep. My coffee has gone cold. Deep and humbling gratitude.
Spinster Life 